Truth:Chapter 12

Truth:Chapter 12
“Thank God” a tall man came running into the waiting room “Char, is she okay?”
“Yes, Colin. She’s fine. They pumped her stomach and made her take charcoal” Char said tiredly.
“Tom, I’m so glad you’re here! Were you the one that found her?”
“No, Char did.” I knew I sounded bitter. I should have been relieved, he found her so soon. But, she was with me first- I should have known.
The doctor came to greet us. We were all nervous at what he had to say.
“Hello. You guys are Christina Watson’s friends, right?”
“Yes.” I replied easily.
“She’s just fine. However, she’s not safe living by herself. She needs constant supervision. Will someone like to volunteer?”
“I will” I offered, without thinking. She’s my best friend, I’ll do anything for her.
The guys looked at me and nodded.
“Great. I’ll just get the paper work.” The doctor said and walked off.
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“Tom. Can I speak to you for a minute?” Colin asked. No, more like cornered me.
“Yeah?” I said, distracted with the mountain of forms I had to fill out.
“I know you have feelings for Christina, and I don’t blame you. If I wasn’t gay, I would too.But, she’s in a fragile position. And I doubt, even in her condition, she wants you playing Prince Charming and trying to save her. As cute and adorable as she is, that girl is strong. She has a past, and if she shares it with you- good. But, if she doesn’t, don’t push it. That’s why she is like the way she is- it is probably the reason she overdosed. You’re in love with her- don’t break her. Don’t smother her. She’s not the same girl she was a year ago. She’s flawed, and the sad part is; she doesn’t realize it. What I’m saying is, take care of her. But, for God sake’s, don’t treat her like a doll. That will just push her away. You follow me?” Colin looked at me.
“I follow you.”
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“This is it” Tom gestured to his small, tidy apartment.
“Hmn, it’s workable. Where am I going to sleep?” I asked him.
“Over here.” He then led me to a medium size room. It was bare, except for a drawing of a sunset. It was pretty nice.
“Who made the picture?”
He scratched his head. “I used to paint. Anyway, the room isn’t much. But, there is a dresser and a decent closet.”
“Okay.” I said.
“Are you hungry?”
“No, but I want coffee.” I told him, already walking to the kitchen.
“The doctor said you can’t have too much caffeine.”
I glared”Unless you want me to cut your balls off, I’m getting my goddamn coffee.”
He backed away.
To ease the awkward silence, I decided we should play ‘Truth’
It was, after all, our thing.
“When was your time?” I asked, taking a seat in the kitchen.
“What?” he sputtered.
“Your first time? Sex. Intercourse. Itchi Itchi Bang Bang.” I laughed.
“15. Drunk. Don’t know her name.”
“How romantic.” I muttered. “Your turn.”
“Your first time? What was it like?” Tom asked, smirking.
“17. Colin. We were going out for six months. He bought me a gold heart charm.”
“Colin? As in Colin Zim? Gay?” He laughed.
“How many gay Colin’s do you know?” I glared. I didn’t appreciate him judging me when he fucked some trollop when he was practically a child.
“Point taken. Pancakes?” He said already taking out the mix.
“Sure.”
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“Why did you do it, Christina?” Dr. Maynes asked.”
For the first time, I was completely honest with her.
“I was angry at my sister. I was sad at the situation. I wanted to prove something- I knew it was stupid, even in all my manic rage, but I wanted to do something reckless, to live. I wasn’t trying to kill myself, I swear. I just had something to prove. It’s that simple.”
“Don’t you think there are more constructive ways to deal with your pain; instead of trying to kill yourself?”
I laughed bitterly to myself. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself. God, why does everyone think that? It was about me being in control- it’s fucked up. But, I thought, in my sick point of view at the time, that I could be in control of the situation, by taking those pills, by showing people what I can handle.I didn’t know that I could have died.” I took a pause. “Colin, Char, Tony and Tom don’t know about it either. I told the doctor in charge not to tell them.”
“Do you think that’s wise?”
“I don’t want them to worry.”
“Christina,” Dr. Maynes said slowly.”You overdosed, even if they didn’t know you seriously could have died- the thought has crossed their mind. They care about you. You have to tell them.”
“Oh, that’s right. We’ll all have pizza. “I scowled”Hey, guys. Remember last weekend? When I took all those pills? If Char came 5 minutes later, I would have died. Pass the diet coke, please.”
“You can joke all you want. It doesn’t change what you did- or the repercussions towards your actions. You must take responsibility. One of them, is telling your friends the truth what happened last weekend. You can’t hide anymore.”
I looked at her. I can’t believe she was the fun therapist; but I knew she was right. I had to tell them.
000
I told Char what happened last weekend, and all he wanted to was hug me.
“Christina.” He murmured into my hair. “Don’t ever do that again. I’m getting my degree in a few years, and I’ll seriously sue you for emotional distress.”
Colin and Tony were a bit harder to tell. Colin was in hysterics, with Tony trying to calm him down;Timmy wasn’t paying attention because his show was on.
“Christina Watson! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!”Colin screeched.
“Calm down.” Tony tried to soothe his boyfriend.
“Colin, I’m the one who did it to myself. I’m the one to blame. Colin- Colin.”
It took an hour to calm him down, and for me to finally leave.
Tom was next.
I knocked on his apartment door. Don’t answer, don’t answer. I thought.
He opened the door.
“Christina, come in.” Tom said. “Sorry, the place is such a mess.”
His apartment, of course, wasn’t a mess.
He was a lot like me in the cleanliness department. Everything had its place. Same with his life; Greg and Me were separated parts in his life. We didn’t mix. We- don’t start, I thought. This isn’t the time- and this isn’t what its about.
“Coffee?” he asked.
I smiled.”Do you even have to ask?”
We sat in silence while we drank our coffee. Mine:milk, 2 sugars. His:Black
“I know you almost died. God, Christina, why did you do it?” he pulled his blonde hair in frustration. “Char told me about it. Fucking perfect Char- whom you always seem to blow me off for. “
“Tom, quit. You know its nothing like that. You’re my best friend. Char is just a friend.”
“But, is he? “ Tom got this fierce look in his eye, like he was challenging me.
“Yes. That’s all we are. Friends.”
He didn’t seem satisfied.
“You…frustrate me. Don’t you see what you do to me? I can’t sleep, I can’t stop thinking about you- I can’t”
In that moment, I did what was on the back of my mind for months- I kissed him.
And he kissed me back.