Truth:Chapter 14

The cheerful birds chirping was my wake up call. Did I say chirping? More like squeaking loudly in an offensive manner.
I groaned and got out of my warm bed. It was time for class.
I quickly grinded the coffee, Brazilian this time and waited for it while I ate jam and toast.
“Today better be a good day.” I thought to myself, while I grabbed my travel coffee mug, my school supplies and coat and walked out the door.
0000
Today sucked. And Blown up. Like a nuclear bomb, but with shittiness.
I was missing a half of page in a 10 page essay for my nazi-marketing professor, and she freaked and gave me an “incomplete”
Incomplete=worse than an F at an university.
When I got home, I kicked off my shoes and went to what I called the maker of Heaven: My Coffee Machine. I christened it Marvin. It seemed sophisticated. Don’t ask me why because I haven’t got a clue.
I checked the messages on my machine.There were two from Colin and one from Char reminding me that we have dinner tonight at 7. I looked at the clock. 5:45. Shit, I thought.
I hurried to take a shower, and get ready. 40 minutes later, I was all dressed and putting the finishing touches on my makeup, when Char knocked on my door.
“Char.” I smiled, opening the door and inviting him in.
“You moved your furniture, again; the second time this month. “ He laughed and gave me a hug “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” I murmered taking in his familiar cologne of Hugo Boss. I went with him to buy it- he used to wear the cheap stuff. Bleh. “Law school keeps you so busy. We hardly spend any time together.”
“I know. That’s why I’m taking you to dinner. Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
I was moving on slowing from Christina. She was another fish in the sea, after all. A rare, beautiful fish- but just another one, nonetheless.I’m focusing on my studies, Nerd Mode you could say. It’s working out because I’m acing all my classes. In a few months, my junior year will end and then I’ll be getting a summer internship at the hospital. It doesn’t pay much.But, at least it’ll keep me distracted from thoughts of Her.
0000
“Nice place.” I tried to whistle, but it just sounded like I was blowing air from my mouth.
Char laughed. “It is, isn’t it? Come on, the reservations are already set and its almost 7.”
We walked into the fancy restaurant and all I saw were flowers- they were everywhere: on the tables, on the shelves, on baskets hanging from the ceiling.
“Are you going to propose? What’s with all the flowers?” I asked curiously.
“Don’t feel special. I took a girl here last week and got la-“ he stopped when I saw his glare.
“You have such a way with words. “ I said, following the waiter to our seats.
“What would you like to drink?”
“No funny accent, this time?” Char asked
I slapped his hand”Char!”
“Oh. I was doing that as a joke.” The waiter explained “Your drinks?”
“Water. What, Char?” I asked when he gave me a funny look.
“How am I supposed to take advantage of you ,when you don’t get drunk first?”I glared “Kidding, of course.”
“Of course, my ass””
“And a very fine one, at that” Char finished for me.”I’ll have a water, as well.”
We made small talk for a few minutes until I felt something weird.
It was funny. My hands started shaking, my toes were tingly. I couldn’t breathe. Everything was going so fast. It was like things were in a blur. I blinked trying to push back the feeling of not breathing. My hands, still shaking, rushed to my face. Was it still there? Everything felt funny. My heart was beating really fast, like a rabbit thumping. Thump. Thump. Thump. I thought it lasted for hours, but it lasted for minutes. I didn’t hear anyone calling my name until someone shook me.
“Christina! Christina! Are you alright? I’m going to take you to the hospital.”
“Oh Okay. “ I said slowly. I calmed down, but my hands were still shaking.
0000
“Everything is normal.” The doctor told us. “She just had a panic attack. It can be caused for a variety of reasons. One of them being from stress or medication.”
Me and Char looked at each other. “I’m on a few medications. “ I then listed all the medication I was on.
When I was finished, he gave me his work number to give to Dr. Maynes to discuss “possible treatment options.”
Great. This is fantastic. Absolutely amazing- I won the lottery of fuck up in all things life. My, how proud Mother would be. Mother, I thought, the woman who always believed in me. I wonder what she thinks of me now?
000
“Relax, Christina, it was just one panic attack.” Colin tried to console me.
“Colin, but what if there is something else wrong with me? God, I don’t mean to sound all angst-girl, but I’m already Bipolar!Next, I’m going to be some neurotic who can’t leave the house, and have to get too many cats, and have stringy hair and-“
Tony threw a pillow at me.
“Calm down, Chris. IF, and I mentally capitalized “IF” you are a neurotic, who cares? You’ll still be Christina. So, what if it may make you more anal retentive and annoying- I mean, you’re not annoying. “ Tony tried to save himself
“ You’re sinking, Hun, sinking.” Colin told his boyfriend, shaking his head.
“Guys. Enough. This, as always, is about me and how fucked up I am.” I laughed bitterly.
“Christina. Please, just get some rest. Look at the bags under your eyes. When was the last time you slept?”
3 days ago, I thought.
“Last night.”
“LIAR” Tony called from the kitchen
“Okay, I’ll guess. I’ll let you guys go do your gayly deeds.” I sighed, grabbing my coat and walked out of the door.
00000
“My panic attacks have an underlining meaning?”
“I believe so.” Dr.Maynes told me.