Sunday, June 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Author's note:
You may have realized this already... but I am taking a break on writing Truth.I don't have motivation. There is my other story "Another Angst Story" It is Tom POV. Check that out please.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Truth:Dressing Rooms
author's note:companion piece to Truth
"Colin!The purple cuff links or the white?Tony asked, holding up an extravagant pair of each.
"Purple is too gay. White." Colin told him while he browsed through the ties.
"Yes, but-"
"He's right.Too gay. " I told Told.
We were in Tux's and Gow for 45 minutes and I was already growing annoyed.
"And you're too short and neurotic!" Tony stuck out his tongue.
"I'm 5'2 AND a half." I said, sniffing."That's average height."
"At the shire- oh are your feet hairy too?"Tony clapped his hand like the gay dinosaur he is. No!Leave me alone!"
It was too late. He was already taking off my flats.
"Mismatched socks?Really?"
Tony shook his head.
"Grow a pair."
"Colin can vouch for that."
I made a disgusted face(and who can blame me) and walked out.
"Colin!The purple cuff links or the white?Tony asked, holding up an extravagant pair of each.
"Purple is too gay. White." Colin told him while he browsed through the ties.
"Yes, but-"
"He's right.Too gay. " I told Told.
We were in Tux's and Gow for 45 minutes and I was already growing annoyed.
"And you're too short and neurotic!" Tony stuck out his tongue.
"I'm 5'2 AND a half." I said, sniffing."That's average height."
"At the shire- oh are your feet hairy too?"Tony clapped his hand like the gay dinosaur he is. No!Leave me alone!"
It was too late. He was already taking off my flats.
"Mismatched socks?Really?"
Tony shook his head.
"Grow a pair."
"Colin can vouch for that."
I made a disgusted face(and who can blame me) and walked out.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Truth:Chapter 16
Truth:Chapter 16
“Your first crush?” I asked Tom, taking a sip of my coffee.
“Melissa Akers. 4th grade. She was gorgeous. Blonde hair, blue eyes… I was a boy in love. “ He sighed. “Too bad I was a scrawny kid.”
I pinched his muscles. “You’re not anymore.”
“ I know.” He told me”Okay, same question.”
“Timonthy Allen. 2nd grade. Forgot what he looked like. I was too skinny as well.”
“Sad.” He did that eyebrow thing“The curse of ugly kids.”
I threw my spoon at him.
“I wasn’t ugly!”
“I was just kidding!”
“No, you were doing that eyebrow thing- you always do that when you are trying to be serious.” I shook a finger in his face.
“You got me.” He rolled his eyes. “Are you finished with that?” Tom pointed to my half-eaten waffles.
“Yes, dutch this time?”
“I’ll pay.” He motioned for the waiter “Check please.”
0000
“YOU BROKE MARVIN!” I screeched to Char. I can’t believe he broke my coffee maker! What a sin!
“I swear-it just happened!” He ducked my punch.”I’ll buy you another one.”
“Okay, let’s go now. “ He stared at me blankly.”I’ll get dressed! God, like I’ll go out with just my jammies on.”
0000
“What about this one?” Char pointed to a Mr. Coffee machine.
“That cheap piece of shit? Uh, no.” I wandered down the aisle looking for the perfect replacement for Marvin(RIP) “Char!”
I started jumping up and down, which was a bad idea because I almost bumped into an old woman.
“LUXIST!It’s in red…and its on sale!”
“Christina, that is $400…”
“Marvin was a Luxist…this could be his son or daughter. You owe me, Char.” I tried to look intimidating, but he just laughed.
“You’re lucky I have a job.”
“Where do you work at?”
“I whore some girls out.”
“Haha,cute. I know you quit the delivery place, so where?”
“I got an internship at the law firm. It doesn’t pay much .Just $15 an hour…”
“Oh. Well, that’s more than me…if I don’t get any tips. Which I do, I mean, not to be conceited but I am a young, attractive woman.” I told him.
“That you are. Hurry, let’s pay for this, and go back to my place.”
“Rent movies?”
“NO Monty Python!”
I sighed. “Deal”
0000
“Ah, I wish all guys could profess their love like Harry.” I told Tom
“Yeah, like all guys have a script in front of them.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Where’s your sense of romance?”
He trampled on top of me and whispered “Is this romantic?
“If you think cutting off my air supply is romantic, then no.”
He rolled off.
I miss Tom. I shouldn’t be thinking of him when I’m with Char…I shouldn’t.
0000
“I’d like to apologize for my unprofessional behavior, Christina.” Dr. Maynes said when I sat down.
“It’s okay. It seems we are both going under some stress.”
“Go on. “
“I finally admitted I miss Tom after I saw him with another girl. Me and Char got drunk and had sex. We weren’t drunk, and had sex again. Colin and Tony are getting married. I want to quit my job. I’m anxious about senior year…I’m just so confused.” I started to tear up. “Shit. I hate crying. It makes me feel like a damsel or a basketcase. I guess I’m leaning more to the basketcase.”
I started to laugh. “When did everything fall apart?”
“You have to decided that for yourself. I can’t tell you how to feel.”
“Or it wouldn’t be self-help, right? “
“Yes.”
0000
“Colin, you really need to organize your paperwork! It won’t surprise me, in this mess, you will lose your bills and have to file bankruptcy. And then-“ I paused for dramatic effect “You can’t take me out to dinner.”
“Christina, I’m a pharmacist in training- I will make enough money to feed you and Tom’s kids!” Colin sighed when I turned silent.
“Can you two just get over it? You miss him. He’s fucking everyone to pretend he doesn’t miss you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’ve been watching Dr. Oz.”
“ Ew. His arms are so hairy- like a caveman. “ Colin stared. “What? I notice these things!”
“Back to the point, avoider of topics, “ Colin started. “You miss him. Call him. Have babies, I want to be an Uncle.”
“Don’t you have a sister? “ I threw a pillow at him “Kids are retarded midgets! You know that!”
He laughed. “You’re mistaking the general population for your childhood. “
I threw another pillow at him.
00000
I’m going to do it. I’m going to call the man I’ve been avoiding for months. Now…
“Christina, honey dew, you are saying your thoughts aloud again.” Tony told me.
“Shut up! Let me call…okay…someone hand me the phone. “
“The phone is in your hand.”
I threw the phone “Someone get me the phone and hand it to me. “
My friends stared. “Ah, I can’t do this. “
5 minutes later after Char pulled me down and putting the phone in my hands, I called.
“Char, you really need to work on those abs. They are not as hard.”
“Hello?” a girl answered Tom’s phone. She’s probably a slut. And blonde. And tall. And gorgeous. Ag.
“Is Tom there?” I asked politely.
“He’s getting dressed.” The girl said, bored.
I hung up.
“He has another girl over there. “
“ Oh.” Colin said. “Maybe she’s there to pick up something. “
“Like her panties” Char muttered.
“He’s getting dressed. They had sex!” I groaned “He’s over me.”
“Don’t cry.” Tony said, already passing me a tissue.
“I won’t. “
0000
There was a knock on my door.
“Ugh. Too early.” I rolled off the latest bint and got out of bed.
I opened the door to find two angry men.
“Hello, Dugrey. Can we come in?” asked Colin, not waiting for the formal invitation, he walked inside.
“Can I help you?” I said gruffly.
“ You can.” Tony said “Quit being an ass and call Christina”
I groaned “She told me she doesn’t need me. What am I supposed to do? Bother her until she does? No thanks. I’m fine right now.”
“Whoring yourself doesn’t seem fine, does it Tony?” Colin asked his fiancée
“No, it doesn’t. It sounds like he’s running away. I think that’s it, fiancée”
“Yes, I think-“
I interrupted them “If you are done trying to guilt trip me. I’m going to stop you right now. I need coffee.”
Almost automatically, flashbacks of Christina appeared in my mind.
“I’ll make it.” Colin offered, pushing me out of the way and into the kitchen.
“Ew. Maxwell House? You lowered your standards in everything” Colin tsked
“I’m a struggling college student”
“No, you’re not.” Tony said off-handedly “You are a struggling college whore.”
“Enough with the antagonism, Queer Eye. I can always kick you out, you know.” I told them, frustrated.
“You don’t have the muscle power.” Colin told me
Tony then flexed.
“Right. “ I rolled my eyes. I’m really sick of these two making me out to be the bad guy.
“You are the bad guy.” Colin told me, drinking my coffee. “You voice your thoughts aloud…like someone else we know.”
I scowled. “Out!”
Colin pushed Tony out the door.
“Good. Now, its just the boys.” Colin told me.
“Tony isn’t one?” I asked, smirking
“He likes to pretend he is, but I know better.” Colin walked closer to me. “You. Need. To. Make. Up. With. The Love of your life. “
“Emily Blunt won’t return my calls.” I told him.
“Listen, smart ass, I am not leaving until you call her. She’s lonely without you.”
“Fine, Elton John,” Colin scoffed at me “Hand me the phone”
He did. I started dialing. She picked up on the fourth ring.
“Hello?” Christina answered. In the background, I could hear shuffling “Char!” Giggle.
“I’m sorry. Who is this?” She asked.
I hung up.
“Lonely, huh? Sounds like she’s fine with another man.”
00000
Damn you, Christina. I thought. Char was supposed to leave at 3! I told that girl…
“She’s probably watching Sex and the City. “ Tom stared at me disbelievingly. “That’s her favorite show, now that its on E!” He still stared “Oh, so you can whore yourself, but Christina can’t be with her friend? That’s hypocritical, Dugrey. A double standard, actually.”
“Out. Now.” Tom interrupted me.
I nodded, and headed out.
0000
“He was heartbroken, Tony, I’m telling you.” I explained to my fiancée. “That’s the only reason why he would be so angry.”
Tony nodded indulgently.
“Maybe I can prescribe him Prozac…” I wondered aloud
“What’s with pharmacist- or future pharmacists- and drugging everyone?” Tony asked me.
“I’m not a frat boy drugging some freshman. Its prescribing medicine that can help you.”
“And Prince Charles is attractive.”
“He does have that charm.”
Tony turned his showtunes up.
0000
“What are you doing?” Char asked me.
I was applying my moisturizer for the fifth time.
“Moisturizing. I don’t want wrinkles.” I told him simply.
“This is your sixth time applying that goo to your face.” Char reminded me.
“The fifth. The first thing I put was for my brown spots.”
“You’re PALE.”
“You can still get sun marks. “
“You get sunburn every time you go outside- You don’t go outside.”
“That’s not true. I went to get the paper across the street” I shook my finger at him “I’m not a zombie that comes out at night. I love the sun…even though it’s a bitch that burns me. Nevermind, I don’t like the sun. The sun can go to hell..wait there is already a sun in hell. I mean, that’s why its so hot, right?”
“Ask Tom.” He muttered.
I chose to ignore his comment.
“Let’s just get coffee, okay?”
He agreed.
I want someone that challenges me, I thought.
“Your first crush?” I asked Tom, taking a sip of my coffee.
“Melissa Akers. 4th grade. She was gorgeous. Blonde hair, blue eyes… I was a boy in love. “ He sighed. “Too bad I was a scrawny kid.”
I pinched his muscles. “You’re not anymore.”
“ I know.” He told me”Okay, same question.”
“Timonthy Allen. 2nd grade. Forgot what he looked like. I was too skinny as well.”
“Sad.” He did that eyebrow thing“The curse of ugly kids.”
I threw my spoon at him.
“I wasn’t ugly!”
“I was just kidding!”
“No, you were doing that eyebrow thing- you always do that when you are trying to be serious.” I shook a finger in his face.
“You got me.” He rolled his eyes. “Are you finished with that?” Tom pointed to my half-eaten waffles.
“Yes, dutch this time?”
“I’ll pay.” He motioned for the waiter “Check please.”
0000
“YOU BROKE MARVIN!” I screeched to Char. I can’t believe he broke my coffee maker! What a sin!
“I swear-it just happened!” He ducked my punch.”I’ll buy you another one.”
“Okay, let’s go now. “ He stared at me blankly.”I’ll get dressed! God, like I’ll go out with just my jammies on.”
0000
“What about this one?” Char pointed to a Mr. Coffee machine.
“That cheap piece of shit? Uh, no.” I wandered down the aisle looking for the perfect replacement for Marvin(RIP) “Char!”
I started jumping up and down, which was a bad idea because I almost bumped into an old woman.
“LUXIST!It’s in red…and its on sale!”
“Christina, that is $400…”
“Marvin was a Luxist…this could be his son or daughter. You owe me, Char.” I tried to look intimidating, but he just laughed.
“You’re lucky I have a job.”
“Where do you work at?”
“I whore some girls out.”
“Haha,cute. I know you quit the delivery place, so where?”
“I got an internship at the law firm. It doesn’t pay much .Just $15 an hour…”
“Oh. Well, that’s more than me…if I don’t get any tips. Which I do, I mean, not to be conceited but I am a young, attractive woman.” I told him.
“That you are. Hurry, let’s pay for this, and go back to my place.”
“Rent movies?”
“NO Monty Python!”
I sighed. “Deal”
0000
“Ah, I wish all guys could profess their love like Harry.” I told Tom
“Yeah, like all guys have a script in front of them.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Where’s your sense of romance?”
He trampled on top of me and whispered “Is this romantic?
“If you think cutting off my air supply is romantic, then no.”
He rolled off.
I miss Tom. I shouldn’t be thinking of him when I’m with Char…I shouldn’t.
0000
“I’d like to apologize for my unprofessional behavior, Christina.” Dr. Maynes said when I sat down.
“It’s okay. It seems we are both going under some stress.”
“Go on. “
“I finally admitted I miss Tom after I saw him with another girl. Me and Char got drunk and had sex. We weren’t drunk, and had sex again. Colin and Tony are getting married. I want to quit my job. I’m anxious about senior year…I’m just so confused.” I started to tear up. “Shit. I hate crying. It makes me feel like a damsel or a basketcase. I guess I’m leaning more to the basketcase.”
I started to laugh. “When did everything fall apart?”
“You have to decided that for yourself. I can’t tell you how to feel.”
“Or it wouldn’t be self-help, right? “
“Yes.”
0000
“Colin, you really need to organize your paperwork! It won’t surprise me, in this mess, you will lose your bills and have to file bankruptcy. And then-“ I paused for dramatic effect “You can’t take me out to dinner.”
“Christina, I’m a pharmacist in training- I will make enough money to feed you and Tom’s kids!” Colin sighed when I turned silent.
“Can you two just get over it? You miss him. He’s fucking everyone to pretend he doesn’t miss you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’ve been watching Dr. Oz.”
“ Ew. His arms are so hairy- like a caveman. “ Colin stared. “What? I notice these things!”
“Back to the point, avoider of topics, “ Colin started. “You miss him. Call him. Have babies, I want to be an Uncle.”
“Don’t you have a sister? “ I threw a pillow at him “Kids are retarded midgets! You know that!”
He laughed. “You’re mistaking the general population for your childhood. “
I threw another pillow at him.
00000
I’m going to do it. I’m going to call the man I’ve been avoiding for months. Now…
“Christina, honey dew, you are saying your thoughts aloud again.” Tony told me.
“Shut up! Let me call…okay…someone hand me the phone. “
“The phone is in your hand.”
I threw the phone “Someone get me the phone and hand it to me. “
My friends stared. “Ah, I can’t do this. “
5 minutes later after Char pulled me down and putting the phone in my hands, I called.
“Char, you really need to work on those abs. They are not as hard.”
“Hello?” a girl answered Tom’s phone. She’s probably a slut. And blonde. And tall. And gorgeous. Ag.
“Is Tom there?” I asked politely.
“He’s getting dressed.” The girl said, bored.
I hung up.
“He has another girl over there. “
“ Oh.” Colin said. “Maybe she’s there to pick up something. “
“Like her panties” Char muttered.
“He’s getting dressed. They had sex!” I groaned “He’s over me.”
“Don’t cry.” Tony said, already passing me a tissue.
“I won’t. “
0000
There was a knock on my door.
“Ugh. Too early.” I rolled off the latest bint and got out of bed.
I opened the door to find two angry men.
“Hello, Dugrey. Can we come in?” asked Colin, not waiting for the formal invitation, he walked inside.
“Can I help you?” I said gruffly.
“ You can.” Tony said “Quit being an ass and call Christina”
I groaned “She told me she doesn’t need me. What am I supposed to do? Bother her until she does? No thanks. I’m fine right now.”
“Whoring yourself doesn’t seem fine, does it Tony?” Colin asked his fiancée
“No, it doesn’t. It sounds like he’s running away. I think that’s it, fiancée”
“Yes, I think-“
I interrupted them “If you are done trying to guilt trip me. I’m going to stop you right now. I need coffee.”
Almost automatically, flashbacks of Christina appeared in my mind.
“I’ll make it.” Colin offered, pushing me out of the way and into the kitchen.
“Ew. Maxwell House? You lowered your standards in everything” Colin tsked
“I’m a struggling college student”
“No, you’re not.” Tony said off-handedly “You are a struggling college whore.”
“Enough with the antagonism, Queer Eye. I can always kick you out, you know.” I told them, frustrated.
“You don’t have the muscle power.” Colin told me
Tony then flexed.
“Right. “ I rolled my eyes. I’m really sick of these two making me out to be the bad guy.
“You are the bad guy.” Colin told me, drinking my coffee. “You voice your thoughts aloud…like someone else we know.”
I scowled. “Out!”
Colin pushed Tony out the door.
“Good. Now, its just the boys.” Colin told me.
“Tony isn’t one?” I asked, smirking
“He likes to pretend he is, but I know better.” Colin walked closer to me. “You. Need. To. Make. Up. With. The Love of your life. “
“Emily Blunt won’t return my calls.” I told him.
“Listen, smart ass, I am not leaving until you call her. She’s lonely without you.”
“Fine, Elton John,” Colin scoffed at me “Hand me the phone”
He did. I started dialing. She picked up on the fourth ring.
“Hello?” Christina answered. In the background, I could hear shuffling “Char!” Giggle.
“I’m sorry. Who is this?” She asked.
I hung up.
“Lonely, huh? Sounds like she’s fine with another man.”
00000
Damn you, Christina. I thought. Char was supposed to leave at 3! I told that girl…
“She’s probably watching Sex and the City. “ Tom stared at me disbelievingly. “That’s her favorite show, now that its on E!” He still stared “Oh, so you can whore yourself, but Christina can’t be with her friend? That’s hypocritical, Dugrey. A double standard, actually.”
“Out. Now.” Tom interrupted me.
I nodded, and headed out.
0000
“He was heartbroken, Tony, I’m telling you.” I explained to my fiancée. “That’s the only reason why he would be so angry.”
Tony nodded indulgently.
“Maybe I can prescribe him Prozac…” I wondered aloud
“What’s with pharmacist- or future pharmacists- and drugging everyone?” Tony asked me.
“I’m not a frat boy drugging some freshman. Its prescribing medicine that can help you.”
“And Prince Charles is attractive.”
“He does have that charm.”
Tony turned his showtunes up.
0000
“What are you doing?” Char asked me.
I was applying my moisturizer for the fifth time.
“Moisturizing. I don’t want wrinkles.” I told him simply.
“This is your sixth time applying that goo to your face.” Char reminded me.
“The fifth. The first thing I put was for my brown spots.”
“You’re PALE.”
“You can still get sun marks. “
“You get sunburn every time you go outside- You don’t go outside.”
“That’s not true. I went to get the paper across the street” I shook my finger at him “I’m not a zombie that comes out at night. I love the sun…even though it’s a bitch that burns me. Nevermind, I don’t like the sun. The sun can go to hell..wait there is already a sun in hell. I mean, that’s why its so hot, right?”
“Ask Tom.” He muttered.
I chose to ignore his comment.
“Let’s just get coffee, okay?”
He agreed.
I want someone that challenges me, I thought.
One shot:Paperworks
"Christina." No response. "Chrissssttttina"
"Shut up, Tom. I have to do this paperwork. Those twats at the office gave me a ton." Christina sighed. "6 months after graduation, and I already have a soul-sucking job."
"Quit?" Tom offered his suggestion.
Christina looked at the red clock on the left side of the wall.
"I can't. Seattle Times hasn't called yet- I mean, they are a new company. I guess they need to get everything together before they hire someone...6:45. I guess I can take a break."
Tom leaned in for a kiss, but was stopped by Christina's exclaim "Tom! You smell like curry. Gross, brush your teeth. I can't stand curry!"
Tom sighed and got off the cough. "There better be some spooning when I come back."
5 seconds later. "Oh, and mouthwash too!"
"My girlfriend is crazy" Tom thought.
author's note: Just something to keep my one fan by.
"Shut up, Tom. I have to do this paperwork. Those twats at the office gave me a ton." Christina sighed. "6 months after graduation, and I already have a soul-sucking job."
"Quit?" Tom offered his suggestion.
Christina looked at the red clock on the left side of the wall.
"I can't. Seattle Times hasn't called yet- I mean, they are a new company. I guess they need to get everything together before they hire someone...6:45. I guess I can take a break."
Tom leaned in for a kiss, but was stopped by Christina's exclaim "Tom! You smell like curry. Gross, brush your teeth. I can't stand curry!"
Tom sighed and got off the cough. "There better be some spooning when I come back."
5 seconds later. "Oh, and mouthwash too!"
"My girlfriend is crazy" Tom thought.
author's note: Just something to keep my one fan by.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Truth:Chapter 15
Truth:Chapter 15
Woah. Too much to drink last night. Way, way too much to drink. Where was I again? It was a messy apartment, law books everywhere…wait law books?
I looked at the man next to me on the bed:brown hair, lean body, freckles on the nose…CHAR!
“Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god” I muttered.
“What?” Char looked at me”Shit. Shit. Shit.”
“Did we?”
We both looked under the covers. Naked.
“I was drunk!” we both said simultaneously.
Suddenly, memories of last night came flashing back. It was the end of finals, shots, oh, god…so many shots, saw Tom with another girl, Char comforting me, Char kissing me, Char taking me to his apartment, Char…I can’t believe I had sex with one of my best friends.
“This,” I said “should never be repeated.”
“I agree.” Char told me. “Breakfast. You’re pretty wild.”
I laughed and slapped his hand.
Some thing will never change.
00000
“Waffles or pancakes?” Tom asked.
“Waffles, definitely. Pancakes remind me of old men in diners.”
It was then that I saw an old man glaring at me.
“Wow, suave, Chris. “
“A standing ovation for my classy observation and delivery is in order!”
Tom used his fork to tap his coffee mug.
“Thank you, thank you. “
“ The word “post-its” or “sticky-notes”?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. That’s a legitimate question. Some people refer it as ‘sticky notes’, like me, some people refer to it as ‘post-its’, like Char; I didn’t notice his scowl when I said his name; Now which one?”
“Sticky notes. Real men don’t refer to anything as inane as “its”
“Hmmn. Don’t agree. What about frat boys “Dude, I did it with her!”
“That’s only in That 70s Show. “
“What about, “Dude, I did that shit.”
“Point taken. Out of all your guy friends, who do you like spending the most time with?”
“Tough.” I had to ponder on this one. “Colin. He’s my best friend. I’m not saying you, Char, or Tony aren’t great- but me and Colin are close close. Like I’m his Fag Hag and he is my Gay. “
“I see.”
Is it my imagination or does he look disappointed?
0000
“Coffee please. “ I ordered.
“Same here.” Char said tossing the menu to the side.
“And your meals?” the waitress asked, fluttering her eyelashes.
Gag me.
“ The omelets special. Christina, my girlfriend, will have the light.”
I smiled smugly at her, only to get a glare in return.
“Girlfriend? Thanks for ordering for me, sexist.”
“If you mean, sexy dictator, welcome. And she’s ugly, I had to make her stop ogling me with her ugly eyes.”
“Char! You shallow man! I’m sure she has a great- she’s a bitch and ugly. A double curse. “
“Ay, Ay.”
5 minutes later our food was ready and brought out.
“This omelet is amazing!” I exclaimed “Ew, Char, you’re eating like Tom.”
I frowned. I missed Tom. How long has it been since I talked to him? 3? 4 weeks?
Char grabbed my hand “Just give him a call. He’s your love. Besides, if he can take you as you are, anal retentive loon, then he’s the one. I mean, you’re hard to handle. I can handle you because I’m God’s gift to the world- I’m like a-“
I covered his mouth with my hand.
“Do shut up. And I can’t just call him! I basically told him I don’t need him- and did you see him with that other girl last night? She is TALL, and pretty. And here I am short, and mere cute.”
“Like a bunny or some adorable creature.”
I glared.
“Just making a point. Besides, he was staring at you the whole night.”
“I guess. Maybe, I’ll call him…call I put him on speaker phone with you?”
He patted my hand “You, poor, adorable woman. Of course, you can.”
0000
“How are you today, Christina?” Dr. Maynes asked, popping a nicotine gum in her mouth.
“I’m doing great. I’m finished with my junior year at the university; and see Char, Tony and Colin all the time.”
“What about Tom?”
“Um, we don’t talk much.”
“I see. How are your migraines?”
It feels like a fat man is jumping on my forehead.
“It’s getting better. “
“Great. Have you been going to your anxiety support group?”
Never been.
“Yes, its enlightening.”
“Hmmn, you are bipolar, neurotic, and a compulsive liar. “
“That’s all true.” I told her. I’m used to therapists being upfront when they want to get me to spill.
“How does it make you feel about yourself?”
“Very bad. Very bad indeed. Like a murderer of morals, like a thief of standards, like a-
“Sarcasm is not necessary, Ms. Watson. I am asking why you are not following my suggestions, yet say you are.”
“Honestly, its because I don’t need it. I’m fine figuring shit on my own. I don’t need a support group to feel sorry for me. I have my friends to understand and sympathize. No offence, but you are a paid professional, you have no right demanding me to follow your “suggestions” I do believe this session is over.
0000
“God, Colin. Dr. Maynes is a real bitch when she doesn’t smoke. “
“What did she do?” Tony asked.
“Tony, get your big show tune mouth out of it.” He looked sad. Ha, always does- tricks me to tell him more”If I wanted to look at puppy eyes, I would adopt a pet. Where is Timmy?”
“He’s with his grandparents for the month.” Tony replied, filing his nails.
“May I ask why?”
“We are going to get married!” Colin squealed.
“Oh my god! Really? Where at?”
“Maine! It’s next June!”
“Colin, Tony this is great! Who is going to be your best man?”
“Um, I was hopefully you would be the best WOMAN.”
I blinked back tears. “Really? Oh, that would be amazing!”
We talked excitedly about the wedding plans in the car, and on our way to Tony and Colin’s
0000
“I can’t believe we had sex again…” I groaned into my hands.
“And you weren’t even drunk this time!”
“Char, this isn’t funny!”
“What? You think my sex skills are laughable?” he put a tan hand to his chest and sighed “That hurts. Right here, Christina.”
I rolled my eyes.”Don’t tell anyone.”
“But, what about our true love? We can’t hide that from the world!”
I grabbed a pillow and wacked him with it.
“I got to go to work. “
He leaned in for a kiss.
I sighed but gave him a peck.
Woah. Too much to drink last night. Way, way too much to drink. Where was I again? It was a messy apartment, law books everywhere…wait law books?
I looked at the man next to me on the bed:brown hair, lean body, freckles on the nose…CHAR!
“Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god” I muttered.
“What?” Char looked at me”Shit. Shit. Shit.”
“Did we?”
We both looked under the covers. Naked.
“I was drunk!” we both said simultaneously.
Suddenly, memories of last night came flashing back. It was the end of finals, shots, oh, god…so many shots, saw Tom with another girl, Char comforting me, Char kissing me, Char taking me to his apartment, Char…I can’t believe I had sex with one of my best friends.
“This,” I said “should never be repeated.”
“I agree.” Char told me. “Breakfast. You’re pretty wild.”
I laughed and slapped his hand.
Some thing will never change.
00000
“Waffles or pancakes?” Tom asked.
“Waffles, definitely. Pancakes remind me of old men in diners.”
It was then that I saw an old man glaring at me.
“Wow, suave, Chris. “
“A standing ovation for my classy observation and delivery is in order!”
Tom used his fork to tap his coffee mug.
“Thank you, thank you. “
“ The word “post-its” or “sticky-notes”?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. That’s a legitimate question. Some people refer it as ‘sticky notes’, like me, some people refer to it as ‘post-its’, like Char; I didn’t notice his scowl when I said his name; Now which one?”
“Sticky notes. Real men don’t refer to anything as inane as “its”
“Hmmn. Don’t agree. What about frat boys “Dude, I did it with her!”
“That’s only in That 70s Show. “
“What about, “Dude, I did that shit.”
“Point taken. Out of all your guy friends, who do you like spending the most time with?”
“Tough.” I had to ponder on this one. “Colin. He’s my best friend. I’m not saying you, Char, or Tony aren’t great- but me and Colin are close close. Like I’m his Fag Hag and he is my Gay. “
“I see.”
Is it my imagination or does he look disappointed?
0000
“Coffee please. “ I ordered.
“Same here.” Char said tossing the menu to the side.
“And your meals?” the waitress asked, fluttering her eyelashes.
Gag me.
“ The omelets special. Christina, my girlfriend, will have the light.”
I smiled smugly at her, only to get a glare in return.
“Girlfriend? Thanks for ordering for me, sexist.”
“If you mean, sexy dictator, welcome. And she’s ugly, I had to make her stop ogling me with her ugly eyes.”
“Char! You shallow man! I’m sure she has a great- she’s a bitch and ugly. A double curse. “
“Ay, Ay.”
5 minutes later our food was ready and brought out.
“This omelet is amazing!” I exclaimed “Ew, Char, you’re eating like Tom.”
I frowned. I missed Tom. How long has it been since I talked to him? 3? 4 weeks?
Char grabbed my hand “Just give him a call. He’s your love. Besides, if he can take you as you are, anal retentive loon, then he’s the one. I mean, you’re hard to handle. I can handle you because I’m God’s gift to the world- I’m like a-“
I covered his mouth with my hand.
“Do shut up. And I can’t just call him! I basically told him I don’t need him- and did you see him with that other girl last night? She is TALL, and pretty. And here I am short, and mere cute.”
“Like a bunny or some adorable creature.”
I glared.
“Just making a point. Besides, he was staring at you the whole night.”
“I guess. Maybe, I’ll call him…call I put him on speaker phone with you?”
He patted my hand “You, poor, adorable woman. Of course, you can.”
0000
“How are you today, Christina?” Dr. Maynes asked, popping a nicotine gum in her mouth.
“I’m doing great. I’m finished with my junior year at the university; and see Char, Tony and Colin all the time.”
“What about Tom?”
“Um, we don’t talk much.”
“I see. How are your migraines?”
It feels like a fat man is jumping on my forehead.
“It’s getting better. “
“Great. Have you been going to your anxiety support group?”
Never been.
“Yes, its enlightening.”
“Hmmn, you are bipolar, neurotic, and a compulsive liar. “
“That’s all true.” I told her. I’m used to therapists being upfront when they want to get me to spill.
“How does it make you feel about yourself?”
“Very bad. Very bad indeed. Like a murderer of morals, like a thief of standards, like a-
“Sarcasm is not necessary, Ms. Watson. I am asking why you are not following my suggestions, yet say you are.”
“Honestly, its because I don’t need it. I’m fine figuring shit on my own. I don’t need a support group to feel sorry for me. I have my friends to understand and sympathize. No offence, but you are a paid professional, you have no right demanding me to follow your “suggestions” I do believe this session is over.
0000
“God, Colin. Dr. Maynes is a real bitch when she doesn’t smoke. “
“What did she do?” Tony asked.
“Tony, get your big show tune mouth out of it.” He looked sad. Ha, always does- tricks me to tell him more”If I wanted to look at puppy eyes, I would adopt a pet. Where is Timmy?”
“He’s with his grandparents for the month.” Tony replied, filing his nails.
“May I ask why?”
“We are going to get married!” Colin squealed.
“Oh my god! Really? Where at?”
“Maine! It’s next June!”
“Colin, Tony this is great! Who is going to be your best man?”
“Um, I was hopefully you would be the best WOMAN.”
I blinked back tears. “Really? Oh, that would be amazing!”
We talked excitedly about the wedding plans in the car, and on our way to Tony and Colin’s
0000
“I can’t believe we had sex again…” I groaned into my hands.
“And you weren’t even drunk this time!”
“Char, this isn’t funny!”
“What? You think my sex skills are laughable?” he put a tan hand to his chest and sighed “That hurts. Right here, Christina.”
I rolled my eyes.”Don’t tell anyone.”
“But, what about our true love? We can’t hide that from the world!”
I grabbed a pillow and wacked him with it.
“I got to go to work. “
He leaned in for a kiss.
I sighed but gave him a peck.
Truth:Chapter 14
The cheerful birds chirping was my wake up call. Did I say chirping? More like squeaking loudly in an offensive manner.
I groaned and got out of my warm bed. It was time for class.
I quickly grinded the coffee, Brazilian this time and waited for it while I ate jam and toast.
“Today better be a good day.” I thought to myself, while I grabbed my travel coffee mug, my school supplies and coat and walked out the door.
0000
Today sucked. And Blown up. Like a nuclear bomb, but with shittiness.
I was missing a half of page in a 10 page essay for my nazi-marketing professor, and she freaked and gave me an “incomplete”
Incomplete=worse than an F at an university.
When I got home, I kicked off my shoes and went to what I called the maker of Heaven: My Coffee Machine. I christened it Marvin. It seemed sophisticated. Don’t ask me why because I haven’t got a clue.
I checked the messages on my machine.There were two from Colin and one from Char reminding me that we have dinner tonight at 7. I looked at the clock. 5:45. Shit, I thought.
I hurried to take a shower, and get ready. 40 minutes later, I was all dressed and putting the finishing touches on my makeup, when Char knocked on my door.
“Char.” I smiled, opening the door and inviting him in.
“You moved your furniture, again; the second time this month. “ He laughed and gave me a hug “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” I murmered taking in his familiar cologne of Hugo Boss. I went with him to buy it- he used to wear the cheap stuff. Bleh. “Law school keeps you so busy. We hardly spend any time together.”
“I know. That’s why I’m taking you to dinner. Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
I was moving on slowing from Christina. She was another fish in the sea, after all. A rare, beautiful fish- but just another one, nonetheless.I’m focusing on my studies, Nerd Mode you could say. It’s working out because I’m acing all my classes. In a few months, my junior year will end and then I’ll be getting a summer internship at the hospital. It doesn’t pay much.But, at least it’ll keep me distracted from thoughts of Her.
0000
“Nice place.” I tried to whistle, but it just sounded like I was blowing air from my mouth.
Char laughed. “It is, isn’t it? Come on, the reservations are already set and its almost 7.”
We walked into the fancy restaurant and all I saw were flowers- they were everywhere: on the tables, on the shelves, on baskets hanging from the ceiling.
“Are you going to propose? What’s with all the flowers?” I asked curiously.
“Don’t feel special. I took a girl here last week and got la-“ he stopped when I saw his glare.
“You have such a way with words. “ I said, following the waiter to our seats.
“What would you like to drink?”
“No funny accent, this time?” Char asked
I slapped his hand”Char!”
“Oh. I was doing that as a joke.” The waiter explained “Your drinks?”
“Water. What, Char?” I asked when he gave me a funny look.
“How am I supposed to take advantage of you ,when you don’t get drunk first?”I glared “Kidding, of course.”
“Of course, my ass””
“And a very fine one, at that” Char finished for me.”I’ll have a water, as well.”
We made small talk for a few minutes until I felt something weird.
It was funny. My hands started shaking, my toes were tingly. I couldn’t breathe. Everything was going so fast. It was like things were in a blur. I blinked trying to push back the feeling of not breathing. My hands, still shaking, rushed to my face. Was it still there? Everything felt funny. My heart was beating really fast, like a rabbit thumping. Thump. Thump. Thump. I thought it lasted for hours, but it lasted for minutes. I didn’t hear anyone calling my name until someone shook me.
“Christina! Christina! Are you alright? I’m going to take you to the hospital.”
“Oh Okay. “ I said slowly. I calmed down, but my hands were still shaking.
0000
“Everything is normal.” The doctor told us. “She just had a panic attack. It can be caused for a variety of reasons. One of them being from stress or medication.”
Me and Char looked at each other. “I’m on a few medications. “ I then listed all the medication I was on.
When I was finished, he gave me his work number to give to Dr. Maynes to discuss “possible treatment options.”
Great. This is fantastic. Absolutely amazing- I won the lottery of fuck up in all things life. My, how proud Mother would be. Mother, I thought, the woman who always believed in me. I wonder what she thinks of me now?
000
“Relax, Christina, it was just one panic attack.” Colin tried to console me.
“Colin, but what if there is something else wrong with me? God, I don’t mean to sound all angst-girl, but I’m already Bipolar!Next, I’m going to be some neurotic who can’t leave the house, and have to get too many cats, and have stringy hair and-“
Tony threw a pillow at me.
“Calm down, Chris. IF, and I mentally capitalized “IF” you are a neurotic, who cares? You’ll still be Christina. So, what if it may make you more anal retentive and annoying- I mean, you’re not annoying. “ Tony tried to save himself
“ You’re sinking, Hun, sinking.” Colin told his boyfriend, shaking his head.
“Guys. Enough. This, as always, is about me and how fucked up I am.” I laughed bitterly.
“Christina. Please, just get some rest. Look at the bags under your eyes. When was the last time you slept?”
3 days ago, I thought.
“Last night.”
“LIAR” Tony called from the kitchen
“Okay, I’ll guess. I’ll let you guys go do your gayly deeds.” I sighed, grabbing my coat and walked out of the door.
00000
“My panic attacks have an underlining meaning?”
“I believe so.” Dr.Maynes told me.
I groaned and got out of my warm bed. It was time for class.
I quickly grinded the coffee, Brazilian this time and waited for it while I ate jam and toast.
“Today better be a good day.” I thought to myself, while I grabbed my travel coffee mug, my school supplies and coat and walked out the door.
0000
Today sucked. And Blown up. Like a nuclear bomb, but with shittiness.
I was missing a half of page in a 10 page essay for my nazi-marketing professor, and she freaked and gave me an “incomplete”
Incomplete=worse than an F at an university.
When I got home, I kicked off my shoes and went to what I called the maker of Heaven: My Coffee Machine. I christened it Marvin. It seemed sophisticated. Don’t ask me why because I haven’t got a clue.
I checked the messages on my machine.There were two from Colin and one from Char reminding me that we have dinner tonight at 7. I looked at the clock. 5:45. Shit, I thought.
I hurried to take a shower, and get ready. 40 minutes later, I was all dressed and putting the finishing touches on my makeup, when Char knocked on my door.
“Char.” I smiled, opening the door and inviting him in.
“You moved your furniture, again; the second time this month. “ He laughed and gave me a hug “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” I murmered taking in his familiar cologne of Hugo Boss. I went with him to buy it- he used to wear the cheap stuff. Bleh. “Law school keeps you so busy. We hardly spend any time together.”
“I know. That’s why I’m taking you to dinner. Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
I was moving on slowing from Christina. She was another fish in the sea, after all. A rare, beautiful fish- but just another one, nonetheless.I’m focusing on my studies, Nerd Mode you could say. It’s working out because I’m acing all my classes. In a few months, my junior year will end and then I’ll be getting a summer internship at the hospital. It doesn’t pay much.But, at least it’ll keep me distracted from thoughts of Her.
0000
“Nice place.” I tried to whistle, but it just sounded like I was blowing air from my mouth.
Char laughed. “It is, isn’t it? Come on, the reservations are already set and its almost 7.”
We walked into the fancy restaurant and all I saw were flowers- they were everywhere: on the tables, on the shelves, on baskets hanging from the ceiling.
“Are you going to propose? What’s with all the flowers?” I asked curiously.
“Don’t feel special. I took a girl here last week and got la-“ he stopped when I saw his glare.
“You have such a way with words. “ I said, following the waiter to our seats.
“What would you like to drink?”
“No funny accent, this time?” Char asked
I slapped his hand”Char!”
“Oh. I was doing that as a joke.” The waiter explained “Your drinks?”
“Water. What, Char?” I asked when he gave me a funny look.
“How am I supposed to take advantage of you ,when you don’t get drunk first?”I glared “Kidding, of course.”
“Of course, my ass””
“And a very fine one, at that” Char finished for me.”I’ll have a water, as well.”
We made small talk for a few minutes until I felt something weird.
It was funny. My hands started shaking, my toes were tingly. I couldn’t breathe. Everything was going so fast. It was like things were in a blur. I blinked trying to push back the feeling of not breathing. My hands, still shaking, rushed to my face. Was it still there? Everything felt funny. My heart was beating really fast, like a rabbit thumping. Thump. Thump. Thump. I thought it lasted for hours, but it lasted for minutes. I didn’t hear anyone calling my name until someone shook me.
“Christina! Christina! Are you alright? I’m going to take you to the hospital.”
“Oh Okay. “ I said slowly. I calmed down, but my hands were still shaking.
0000
“Everything is normal.” The doctor told us. “She just had a panic attack. It can be caused for a variety of reasons. One of them being from stress or medication.”
Me and Char looked at each other. “I’m on a few medications. “ I then listed all the medication I was on.
When I was finished, he gave me his work number to give to Dr. Maynes to discuss “possible treatment options.”
Great. This is fantastic. Absolutely amazing- I won the lottery of fuck up in all things life. My, how proud Mother would be. Mother, I thought, the woman who always believed in me. I wonder what she thinks of me now?
000
“Relax, Christina, it was just one panic attack.” Colin tried to console me.
“Colin, but what if there is something else wrong with me? God, I don’t mean to sound all angst-girl, but I’m already Bipolar!Next, I’m going to be some neurotic who can’t leave the house, and have to get too many cats, and have stringy hair and-“
Tony threw a pillow at me.
“Calm down, Chris. IF, and I mentally capitalized “IF” you are a neurotic, who cares? You’ll still be Christina. So, what if it may make you more anal retentive and annoying- I mean, you’re not annoying. “ Tony tried to save himself
“ You’re sinking, Hun, sinking.” Colin told his boyfriend, shaking his head.
“Guys. Enough. This, as always, is about me and how fucked up I am.” I laughed bitterly.
“Christina. Please, just get some rest. Look at the bags under your eyes. When was the last time you slept?”
3 days ago, I thought.
“Last night.”
“LIAR” Tony called from the kitchen
“Okay, I’ll guess. I’ll let you guys go do your gayly deeds.” I sighed, grabbing my coat and walked out of the door.
00000
“My panic attacks have an underlining meaning?”
“I believe so.” Dr.Maynes told me.
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